Dear totally hectic life that never seems to be…normal. I dare you to keep throwing it at me…because I will just keep slamming those fast balls out of the field. I promise you.
So….as you can tell, these days life has been on the lil’ bit more than hectic side…..I am spinning in circles and not actually getting anywhere it seems…this frustrates me to no end. I feel like a hamster on a wheel running and running and not even accomplishing a nice physique along the way.
I have changed jobs, a good thing for the mind, body and soul…but not so much for the pocket book these days. On top of it, old job or new, I also still haven’t had any down time, overtime worked just to make the dollar and being exhausted when I am not working. In the last weeks I have also signed a lease, cleaned a very large house, moved a dog and settled him in, moved stuff from the friends I was staying at, still need to move to my storage, have yet to move in…no kitchen items so money costs are higher eating out all the time ( nearly impossible to eat a lunch for under $15 with a drink and a tip) . I have had to take time, multiple “ on hold” minutes to switch over power and water services, runs to the city hall ( still don’t have my trash can) and the gas company messup’s on the turn on service ( on my part, I’ll admit) so…that’s been an issue…and then a glitch so power was off for an entire day as well…just on the day I had planned to get stuff done at the house but this July sweltering heat…I ran to the coffeeshop instead. Then I have been sleeping tiredly ( I pass out) between my boyfriends ( who is soon to move in to the house as well) my friends and the big house. ( As I now think of as the Davenport-Cruz Maison-Casa) .
And the bike riding in between…well, I am hating this car-free living during these sweaty summer months, let me tell you.
When I am not doing all that I am engulfed in school writing and editing.
I seriously need to go to the grocery store. Milk in my fridge would be the biggest luxury I can think of right now…just the time for it.
Now it sounds to the normal person perhaps that this move…and moving in and forward with a boyfriend and a relationship at that…would be not spinning my wheels at all but stepping in a pretty forward motion of some kind…and don’t get me wrong, in some ways yes…in some ways the hiccups along the way that have been happening, two weeks of a signed lease and no moving in, the utilities being so trouble-some and lack of time for it all and all the in-between.
And then I am supposed to sit and write in calm and focus….pfft.
So here is where I tumble…
I need to write, work, I have several assignments that simply have no time for my attention much less my un-divided when there might be.
Not writing doesn’t get me ahead in the work/career field .
No time has me not exercising, no yoga which I totally crave deeply. My body also there-for aches and cry’s in pain and out of shape…bike riding or not all over this island I am far from in shape, my muscles all need a good stretching to the point of craving it, dreaming about it. But settle and time? And when I might have a moment all I want to do is lay down and…nothing, just rest, of which my body has also been deeply craving and even stealing.
I have no fun time, no down time, no read my book and chill out time, no date time . It all comes crashing down on me hard like an avalanche in this un-balance of life and this Libra begins to go insane over it.
I have been over emotional, tired and grumpy as hell.
All important things in my life…all of this. Balance.
I need to settle into a good job that I like and that also meets my financial needs. I won’t go lower in my style of living and am still working towards better. I don’t ask too much and will eventually achieve this…I know.
I need to get moved into the house and settled, sleeping in one spot . Hang some new shower curtains and get some rugs and have a kitchen to call my own. Fill my refrigerator and work in my garden .
I need to get past my legal issues and forward on all of them…I am so over it tired of being blocked from certain things by them…and having them over my head.
I NEED a schedule, a routine of life….one where I can wake in my own home, do my yoga even if just a few minutes of it, make my de-caf coffee ( another thing, watching my diet and the caffeine intake of mine is a big thing now…gotta do it. Have my healthy get the day started breakfast made in my own kitchen and start on my writing in my studio…creating. Then work later in the day to pay the bills at a place that doesn’t make me want to pull my hair out ( glad to finally be in that, but do need better financial ability and stability than I have right now) . Then an evening to chill with my honey at home n a comfy couch in front of a movie….sounds like a good life right/ To top that off I NEED scheduled regular days off to plan and DO things…like get off the island, go camping, have fun. Do different things or even bike ride around the island and …gasp! Get some groceries would be nice and grilling in the beautiful backyard.
I know I know…I simply ask too much of life, expect it by high standards…and yet I plan to achieve this all. Until then let me pretend that this coffee isn’t de-caf and that I have all the time in the world for a nap……sigh.
peggyjdavenport 