I am sitting here trying to write an essay on “
If you could change one decision that you made in the past, what would it be? No, you can’t go back in time, but here’s the next best thing. Think of a decision that you regret—anything from a ridiculous choice of prom date to a serious lapse in judgment—and tell us what the mistake taught you about yourself.”
And for the moment all I can think of and first feel the need to write about is….all the decisions in my life that I do NOT regret?
I was young and flew off to New York, I learned to live …spread my wings, think for myself and surrounded by people who thought outside the box…I can never regret running through the city on early mornings after it had rained the previous night, my thoughts clearer than they had ever been before.
I can never regret the moment I found adulthood.
I was not much older and still not even drinking age when I ran off to the West end of the country, California. Moved in with a boyfriend for the first time whom lasted for two years. But I can not regret the great adventures I was taught, the bear hug of a great friend on the first day of meeting her who has since gotten me through some of my hardest times, no regrets on seeing where my food grows or learning to play chess or how to surf.
I cannot regret being twenty two and marrying too young, too fast…too head over heels in love and in the same passion and the same short time we married with we also divorced with. But I cannot regret the feeling of such young true deeply passionate head over heels in -love. That amazing rush to the head…even if it came later with the greatest hurt of the heart. The lessons in life I also learned, the opening windows of who I am during that time, knowledge I soaked up…How could I possibly regret that?
I cannot regret even marrying for my second time because as I divorced and entered into womanhood and out of my twenties it was all a very large part of knowing my true strength , wishes , hopes and wants in life. Finally the petals of the bloom of the woman I was to become had finally begun to open softly. One day this flower that is my life will truly and fully bloom.
I do not regret moving back and now living in Galveston , coming home from years in my four corners of the earth, all as far away from home and family as I could be. I wake to the beach, a bike ride, meeting a friend at a coffee shop. I meet new people, I have a garden to put my hands in the dirt in, I have a place to explore my creativity to no end. It is a beautiful place in my heart.
I have so many things that I could list of which I do not regret and almost do I wish to write that I simply have no regrets…however that won’t work for my essay but…the reality is I am human and there have been times I have cried out to god that I am sorry. And thought those moments may have been something meant for me to go through….I can’t honestly say that there isn’t a single regret…or at least a time of which in I regretted it, in my entire nearly thirty one years….
So at the moment of this essay to be written, I have a lesson of facing truth and reality .
And I have yet to turn down the opportunity of learning a lesson .